Mind the Gap
by rinaissance
Summary: /AU University/  Two old flames chance upon each other, in a journey that may well be their first and last chance, to arrive at one conclusive destination. Athrun, Cagalli and the twelve station stops that conquered the gaps in between.
1. Station One: January

**Notes:**

Written on a whim, because my stressed self needs it. _Feel free to shoot me with the absurdity of this idea_. Originally a 10k word, unpublished oneshot but I feel it lacking in the emotional department so I have decided to expand it. A little bit.

This is an attempt to write a fanfic _projected_ to have a tone reminiscent of eating cotton candy - sweet and fluffy, but a little rough in texture at times. No, it won't be mushy, despite my love for mushy peas. And since this is _completed _(refer to above), updates will come anytime between 3-7 days. Length wise, the whole story will compose of twelve chapters, with an overall word count that of a novella, 20k-ish.

_Timeline: _Present era, university, but the names of places are that of the ones in SEED. The way in which university works is to be patterned after the British educational system.

**Disclaimer: **If GSEED/Destiny were mine, Destiny would have never existed. Sadly, it did.

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><p><strong>Mind the Gap<br>**By: rinaissance

Two old flames chance upon each other, in a journey that may well be their first and last chance, to arrive at one conclusive destination. Athrun, Cagalli and the twelve station stops that conquered the gaps in between.

.

Chapter One: January

.

The second term of his penultimate year in university came as innocently as a child tugging the hem of his mother's skirt, cooing for ice cream. On paper and on screen, his exam timetable looked forgiving, with only four exams sparsely marked across the timetabling grid. Having completed the entirety of the coursework set over Christmas holidays, Athrun Zala basked in the knowledge that he could spend his free days (in between his exams), in a relaxed and calm manner.

How wrong he was.

He should have known better, that no matter how cliché it sounded, you should never judge a book by its cover. Because by the time the invigilator had announced, "Time's up," during the final moment of his last exam, not only did he say goodbye to his answer booklet, but also to his most trusted Calculator (whose battery died after the many attempts of dealing with _i_) and the remnants of his fried brain.

And just when he thought he could finally breathe fresh air upon leaving the exam hall, in came pollution in the form of Yzak Jule's usual, post-exam tirades.

"So Zala," sneered Yzak, "judging from your expression, the exam was crap." He angled his head into a haughty tilt that demanded for a white flag to be waved in front of his face.

"No, quite the contrary, actually," he lied, through the mask of a good-natured smile. (1) Yzak's face immediately darkened at this, and Athrun could only revel in the sudden but expected change in his friend's facial expression.

"You bastard!"

Even as Yzak lunged at him and grabbed him by the lapels of his coat, Athrun's sentiments remained the same. There was a form of contentment and entertainment in hearing the range of Yzak's vocabulary - _Zala, you bastard! You idiot!_ - and in watching Yzak's blue eyes burn with a fire he had set ablaze on himself. However, much to Athrun's horror, his moment of victory was short-lived when the roguish smile of a tanned blonde sent him and the silver haired madman, in a sea of roaring students who smelt of booze, cigarettes and piss.

Post-exam celebration, the students called it. Although for Athrun, the only humane kind of celebration he could think of at this moment was to go home and sleep. But alas, Luck wouldn't let him have his way, for he just received a call from his father who had requested for his presence pronto.

Athrun cupped one hand on the side of his mouth, in a feeble attempt to speak amidst the raging cacophony of the speakers and cheers. "Dearka, ugh, I'm leaving now!" he shouted, while prying the arms of an unknown girl who had latched herself over his shoulders.

"Athrun, my man," said Dearka, raising a pint of what Athrun assumed could likely be a concoction of vodka and urine. "You have to loosen up! Averaging a consecutive first would not do your manliness any good. Look at Yzak there!" He followed the direction of Dearka's pointer to the dance floor and was surprised to see that the breadth of Yzak's dance moves was not limited to Macarena. "He had been looking for a good lay since the day I lied about your nonexistent virginity!"

Athrun just shook his head and vacated his seat. There was no point trying to drill even the simplest of statements to Dearka's head, when he was running on a drunken 8-bit microprocessor.

"Hey Athrun," Dearka purred. He grabbed onto Athrun's right leg and rubbed his cheek against the knee. "You have to forget about Cagalli."

Like the imaginary anvil that had fallen on his head when the strange, familiar name was uttered, Dearka Elsman fell to the floor, dead drunk.

And that was how he found himself frazzled in an almost deserted train station, itching to catch the last trip bound for Aprillius, where his father would unmercifully bombard him with questions of why he was late, when he was expected... three hours ago?

He sighed. The hollowness of the place brought little peace inside him. Circular puffs of wintry mist escaped his mouth, as he breathed through his set of chattering teeth. He flipped up the collar of his black trench coat and skipped lithely on the spot.

"_The next train to depart from platform one, will be the twenty three fifteen, Southern Line service to, December. Calling at, Februarius, Martius - .__" _The voice of a woman pleasantly resounded in the air. Twenty three o' one, the clock read. Fourteen minutes before the last southbound train would depart.

"Good thing it's in platform one," Athrun murmured to himself. No need to scramble all the way up to the overbridge to get to the next platform.

Athrun frowned. He had been queuing in front of the self service machine for a full ten minutes now and yet, the person before him, he noticed, had been repeatedly drawing his card in and out and punching the keypad.

He leaned forward, still keeping a polite distance. "Excuse me?" he said. His query was met with silence.

The clock flashed 23:05. Nine minutes and a half left, since the train door would close thirty seconds before the scheduled departure time. Sighing, he counted numbers in his head: a minute and a half to buy a ticket, and if the turnstiles were in good shape, another minute to catch the train. It still left him plenty of time to choose another entry point if the first barrier mockingly rejected his ticket. All was good.

Twenty three o' six and still there were no signs of movement in his queue.

With newfound determination, he gathered his voice and said, louder this time, "Excuse me?" Thinking that the hood of the person's bomber jacket hindered his hearing, he poked the guy's shoulders, hurriedly repeating, "Excuse me mate, but do you need help?"

Fiery amber eyes turned around sharply, boring into his green ones.

"What?" a female growled.

A moment of surprise and a spark of familiarity lapsed between them.

He blinked. "Cagalli?"

Pointed blonde fringes came into disarray, as she jabbed an accusing finger to his chest. "Got any problem with that, Zala? Last time I checked, the train is a public transportation!"

Athrun didn't hear the curses she threw at him, or felt the growing pressure on his chest. Twenty-three o' nine. Roughly five minutes to spare.

He caught her wrist in one swift motion and pushed her gently to the side. And before she could retaliate and exhaust her extensive list of profanities, he beat her into it. "In which station are you getting off?"

Cagalli inhaled sharply at his question. "And why the hell should I tell you that!"

He raised an annoyed hand to dishevel his hair. "I'm getting you a ticket, why else? Your debit card is rejected and you don't seem to have any cash either."

"I am not a beggar!"

Exasperated, he groaned. "For the love of god woman! Just tell me where you're going otherwise we'll freeze to -"

"Aprillius!"

He regarded her for one moment, startled at her sudden submission, then recollected his composure at once. "Two adults, single, Aprillius" he grumbled, poking various boxes on the screen. He withdrew his card from the machine slot almost immediately after he had inserted it.

With a hand outstretched towards his female companion, Athrun offered, "Here. Your ticket."

She whipped her head to the side. "You're still as arrogant as ever."

"Save your comments for later, love."

Without much of a warning, he entwined her right hand with his left, and dragged her through the turnstiles, towards the train in a hurry.

"Zala!" Cagalli demanded, going ballistic. "I shall have you arrested for sexual abuse!"

He ignored the outbursts and ran to an empty carriage, with the shrieking, hyperventilating woman, whose fingers are still interlaced with his, behind him.

"_Doors closing. Beep beep beep beeeeeeeep.__"_

"Too close."

"Zala! Zala!"

He buried his face into his free hand and rubbed his temples. "What now?"

Tiptoeing to his eye-level, she screamed, wringing her imprisoned hand free, "My hand! I need my ha-!"

The train screeched to a start. A sudden gust of force sent him tumbling down towards her. Horror spelled in her face as she noticed the compromising situation she and Athrun were in.

"Geroff me!" she said, barrelling her hands forcefully on his shoulders.

Arms high up in defeat, Athrun surrendered. "Okay, okay!"

Swatting his helping hand away, she got to her feet and breathed heavily, with a look of unapologetic indignation burning deeper into her face at an alarming rate. Athrun brushed her off, and walked past her, slumping into a nearby seat opposite the train direction.

Stomping to his side, she leaned forward and ordered, "Zala! Move there!" She pointed to the end of the carriage. "I don't want to sit anywhere near you."

Athrun looked at her through half-lidded eyes. "If you find my presence so scarring, you are free to," he angled his chin upwards, "walk over there." Then, he motioned his left thumb behind him. "Or better yet, move to the next carriage."

She fumed. "And who do you think you are to order me around?"

Exhaustion tainted his voice as he lifted a palm in his defence. "Cagalli, please."

"_The next station is Februarius. Mind the gap between the train and the platform edge. Upon departure from Februarius, this train will call at Martius, Aprillius -__"_

Closing his eyes, he let his head fall against the stark coldness of the window. Footsteps echoed within the carriage, as people from the adjacent one, scrambled to their feet. He didn't bother to open an eye to check if a certain blonde woman had successfully made her way down towards the opposite end.

It was normal for her to walk away, Athrun thought, just as normal as it was for him to let her go.

But maybe, if he wasn't so much of a coward, he would see that she sat not more than three rows from him and that, she had her eyes set unwaveringly on his exhausted state. -

"_The next station is Martius -."_

She watched him sleep, watched him from a distance so near but not close enough.

Although for Cagalli Yula Hibiki, seeing him from a distance where she could pinch his cheeks should she wish to, was more than enough.

"_The next station is Aprillius -.__"_

She sprung to his side and nudged his shoulders. "Hey Zala," she called out. "Hey Athrun, we're in Aprillius. Wake up, stupid! You'll end up sleeping on this train overnight if you don't wake up now!"

- And maybe, if he wasn't so much of an idiot, he would wake up in time for the right station stop.

Squinting his eyesight to the light, the first thing Athrun noticed was the absence of yellow against the purple backdrop and fittings of the train coach. He jerked up and tried to distinguish between the jarred sound of the train's wheels clanking against the steel tracks and the absolute darkness looming from outside the window.

Worriedly, he asked the train conductor passing by. "Excuse me sir, where are we now?"

"Maius, young lad."

Athrun Zala banged his head on the window sill.

_Oh fuck_.

* * *

><p>(1) I don't think the rivalry between Yzak and Athrun is on Yzak's part alone. In a drama suit CD, where both compete in chess, you can see that Athrun can be just as competitive as Yzak. The only difference between them is Athrun can put up quite a calm front… and only voices out his frustration once out of earshot.<p>

Anyways... I repeat. This was written on a whim and lightly edited, hah. Unlike _The Puppet Show, _the majority of the words used were not chosen as carefully. And as you can see, I have big issues with one, the flow and two, the narrative voice.

Ermmm... review? Thanks much!


	2. Station Two: February

Today is Athrun's birthday and tomorrow, the thirtieth, is mine.

Thank you to all those who reviewed the first chapter! I owe you all a reply, which I will do if I find extra time after updating The Puppet Show.

_Typo from first chapter: Cagalli is supposed to be a Hibiki. Not an Athha._

**Disclaimer:** GSEED/Destiny is not mine. Happy?

* * *

><p><strong>Station <strong>**Two**: February

.

At twenty years old, this was not how Cagalli Yula Hibiki expected her final year in university to play out. [1]

The plan, according to the list she had in her mind upon entry to Heliopolis University, was to keep herself free from the horrors of possibly failing a year and repeating it. Luckily, with much perseverance and motivation, (amplified by the tiny, but flaming spark of jealousy she felt towards her more intellectually able twin brother) her first two years in university went just as planned. She might have gotten what she wanted, but it didn't mean that she was not slightly embittered by life.

Whereas Kira, her twin brother, could scrape a first [2] without bothering with exam preparations, she had to go through all the trouble of attending group revision sessions and scouring the university grounds for fleeting lecturers and professors, in order to do… _well __enough_. Her grades were not mind-blowingly remarkable, but achieving a respectable two-one after a series of energy drinks, caffeine tablets and inevitable all-nighters, was enough to send her off in a celebratory frenzy. She remembered Kira saying that whilst he might be at the top of his game in the more prestigious Zaft University, there was no doubt that she would feel more rewarded and satisfied than he ever would be after graduation.

"It must be nice," he mused, one humid summer day, "To harvest crops that you have painstakingly planted yourself."

She gave him then a sardonic smile. "Well, you still got it better than me. Employers would line up at your feet and would offer you an annual salary that of a higher up!"

Kira laughed. "But at the end of the day, you would have learned more than I did therefore, you could argue that you have accomplished more than what I have."

He was right. She might have spent the good portion of her first year complaining how she was not cut-out for Economics, and how she should be doing shelf-stacking in a grocery instead of pursuing a degree. She might have complained a lot, but Cagalli never once thought of giving up. Soon and oddly enough, she found a joy in learning, she never thought she could. In group revisions, she found people who felt misplaced just like her, but continued working hard. In hallways, she found people who smiled through their stressed faces and haggard postures. In rooms and lecture theatres, she found people with hopes and dreams, some of which were bizarre, but all entirely possible. And together with them, she found herself striving to become what she was now - confident and happy. She no longer was the girl brimming with insecurities, who hid behind a brash and impulsive mask. [3]

And so. Taking into account her success over the past two years, and her constant efforts to steer her third year academic life in tangent with her plans, she would ideally be looking at an equally successful exit from university this coming summer. Sure, her dissertation was far from completion and there were still exams to tackle, but she was hell-bent on playing the role of the tortoise who would diligently reach the finish line.

These were her plans for the future.

And meeting Athrun Zala again was not a part of them.

One moment, she was on her way to dance in victory, and in the next, she was rolling down the cliff faster than the speed of light.

"While you're at it, do me a favour," said Miriallia, without looking up from the book resting on her lap. "Dig a hole and bury yourself in it. Our neighbour is a keen gardener and I'm sure he wouldn't mind lending you a shovel."

The auburn haired young woman's comments fell deaf to Cagalli's ears.

"Will you stop being a slob, Cagalli?" requested Miriallia, irritated, shutting her book close. "You moping around, is annoyingly distracting."

Cagalli only pulled the duvet tighter over her head, until nothing else of her form was visible, save for a few loose strands of her blonde fringes (the majority of which she tucked under the duvet), her very own pair of half sullen, half stupefied golden eyes, and the exaggerated childish pouting of her lips. "You don't understand, Miriallia," she said, accompanied by a dramatic sniff. "This was not how I imagined life would be."

Miriallia propped her elbow on one arm of the couch and laid her right cheek on her palm. "Do you realise that you've been repeating that same line for the past two or three weeks?"

"Three weeks and two days," she corrected, dejectedly. Cagalli bit her lip as she took notice of Miriallia, who seemed to be meditating with the way she was massaging the sides of her head with her forefingers in circular motions. As her best friend, Cagalli thought, Miriallia sure had a low tolerance for her antics, whenever a stupid Athrun Zala was concerned.

"Well, what do you expect?" Miriallia suddenly snapped, aquamarine eyes glinting with a deathly spark. "You went to Januarius to meet Kira, who not just attends the same university as Athrun Zala." At this point, Cagalli scuttled to the far end of the couch as Miriallia approached her with a menacing glare. "But also shares some lectures with him! Did you honestly think the chances of you seeing him again would be close to none?"

"I have visited Kira in Januarius numerous of times and this was the first time I caught sight of him!" argued Cagalli. Glaring, she continued, voice rising. "And why the hell are you shouting at me!"

"Because," began Miriallia, holding the book above her head, ready to strike, "your sentimentality, all this moping, were due some two, three, whatever years ago, stupid!"

Straightening herself up, Cagalli howled, "Can you blame me? When back then all I really wanted was to kick the living daylights out of him!"

Miriallia slumped back to her seat, groaning and her book turned upside down on top of her face. "Just in case you're forgetting," she mumbled. "Athrun would have stayed if you asked him to."

"Then all the more reason to kick his sorry arse!"

"Stop it Cagalli. We were children then, you know, what did we know about relationships," said Miriallia, morosely.

It didn't take a light bulb moment for Cagalli to understand that Miriallia was not only referring to her, but also to herself.

"Are you sure you don't want to go with me to Januarius for Lacus' royally belated birthday celebration? You know, hook up with Dearka again or something, it is Valentine's Day after all."

At this, there was no hesitation in Miriallia's veins when she finally reached for her book and aimed straight at Cagalli's face. Unfortunately for the auburn lady, and fortunately for Cagalli, she managed to cover her face just in time, with the duvet she had wrapped herself like a mummy in.

"You do know how to turn the tables around, don't you?" asked Miriallia, childishly seething.

"And that's why you love me Mir," teased Cagalli, "Because I don't hog the spotlight all to myself."

Miriallia's face darkened. "Wanting to spend Valentine's Day crippled, eh?"

Cagalli laughed. Oh where would she be without Miriallia.

0

Skipping on her spot, Cagalli threw the hood of her jacket over her head, its synthetic fur lining scratching against the skin of her forehead. She scanned her surroundings and grimaced at how busy Aprillius' train station was, polluted with couples parading with their undying love for each other. It didn't help either that, despite the absence of snow, the temperature plummeted to some ungodly degrees, and so, the couples took advantage of taking their public displays of affections to a whole new level. Rubbing her un-gloved hands together, she was sure that even with the layers of clothing she wore, her blood was in danger of being frozen cold.

Truth be told, despite the bitterness that swelled within her, whenever she felt that she could get diabetes from merely looking at the couples around, she liked visiting Kira during Valentine's Day. Danger didn't loom around any unseen corners. She didn't have to think twice or count to ten before opening the door to Kira's flat. There was never a time that she or anyone else saw midnight blue hair and green eyes on the fourteenth of February, Valentine's Day.

"_The train now approaching platform two is the eighteen hundred, Southern Line service to Januarius. Calling at, Martius, Februarius and Januarius."_

It was a sad fact. One that, even with her now undefined relationship with Athrun Zala, still made her heart hurt a little.

The train screeched to a stop and Cagalli, for fear that she might have to stand for one hour on the way to Januarius, made a run towards the door. She settled on an empty seat next to a stranger, donning a black beanie.

"Fancy seeing you here," greeted the voice from her right.

How ironic was it that when the heaters inside the train were turned on in full blast, her blood had just gone cold.

Cagalli gulped. "Is there a law that restricts me from being where I want to?" she asked, attempting to sound firmly convincing, but obviously failing. Somehow, she found a sudden interest to cringingly watch the kissing couple seated in front of her. The bright ceiling looked interesting too.

Athrun turned to face her, an eyebrow raised tauntingly. "Jealous, Cagalli?"

_Athrun Zala, you idiot._

Her cheeks coloured, no use denying it. She could feel them burning. She could feel her insides boiling too. "Go kill yourself, Zala."

He smiled. And oh dear god, she was slowly forgetting that no, no, she wasn't supposed to like his smile at all.

"So," he started, shifting around to get a better view of her, which forced Cagalli to keep only half of her butt on the seat. She would make sure that not a single Athrun Zala atom would come in contact with her skin. "What are you doing here on such a fine evening?"

"None of your bloody business, Zala," she murmured.

"No dates? None at all?"

She rolled her eyes in response, scrunching her face before blowing her fringes away.

Ignoring her annoyance, Athrun continued, "Lacus' 21st birthday celebration, I presume?"

"Are you going?" she asked. The immediacy in her voice made her want to puke at herself.

Green eyes stared into her amber ones with half disbelief. Really? Cagalli wanted nothing more than to bonk the heads of the couple in front of her just so she could release the awkwardness between her and this, this, handsome, scratch that, half-brained excuse of a man. Yeah, that was more appropriate.

But then guilt brew inside her for mentally insulting him when, "No," he replied, flatly. There was a solemnity in his voice that was hard to miss. "I don't like Valentine's Day."

Cagalli bit her lips and stared at the floor. "I hate it too," she admitted, as gently as the speckle of snow now tapping against the windows.

She laughed inwardly. There was no snow forecast for today. Then again who was she kidding? You could never predict the future. Here she was, assured that she wouldn't be seeing him on this particular day, because she never really did, this very same person who made her feel like the most amazing person in one second, and utterly pathetic the next.

In the past decade that she had known Athrun Zala, today was the first time she saw him on the day his mother died.

"Say Athrun," she said, trying to break the silence that had uncomfortably settled between them. "Admit it, I punch better than Kira, right?"

"Huh?"

"You know," continued Cagalli, good-naturedly. "Before you and I separated ways, I punched you remember? Then Kira punched you too, right? I punched better than him, yes, yes?" Oh god. Someone help her. She was treading in murky water but couldn't seem to stop.

Realisation dawned on his face just as humiliation clouded hers.

"No," he replied, even colder than before.

"Geez, Zala," she said, arms crossed, trying to sound playful, trying to lift the heaviness of the conversation. "Can't you lessen your honesty here when I'm trying to boost my self-esteem? I need to be better than Kira at something, you know."

"Neither of them hurt."

Now? She wanted nothing more than to dash back to her neighbour's door and ask for his shovel and bury herself six feet underground, as Miriallia had suggested.

"It hurt though, when you left me."

Someone shoot her, please.

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><p><strong>Notes:<strong>

[1] Undergraduate degrees in the UK _typically_ (i.e. doesn't apply to all courses) last three years. In the case of Athrun, who is currently taking an undergraduate masters degree in Engineering (MEng), his degree lasts for four years. MEng is not equivalent to an MSc in Engineering.

[2] Degree classification and their American GPA counterpart according to Wiki.

**British – American GPA**

First (70+) – 4.00

Upper Second, two-one, 2:1 (60-69) – 3.33-3.67

Lower Second, two-two, 2:2 (50-59) – 3.00

Third (40-49) – 2.30

Ordinary Pass (35-40) – 2.00

[3] You could argue that my Cagalli is OOC, but that is a subjective viewpoint. And if you are reading _The __Puppet __Show_ you will probably see what my understanding of Cagalli's character is.

_Thank you for reading and reviewing! Kindly point out all errors as I was in a rush to fish this out of my HD. See you all next week! _

_(The tone of MTG is starting to get to me. Too cheesy, I think?)_


	3. Station Two and a Half: February, still

**Disclaimer:** GS/GSD, not mine.

You know, if I could, _if only I could_, I would abandon Electronic Engineering without batting an eyelash, because no matter how much of life I sacrifice for this degree, I always fall short. And it gets tiring, so tiring, knowing that I will never amount to anything.

Anyways. Thank you ever so much to all those who reviewed. MTG related notes at the end.

For **Drair**.

* * *

><p><strong>Station Two and a Half: <strong>February, still

.

He didn't understand her at all.

During their chance encounter back in January, there in her eyes, he clearly saw how apprehensive she was towards him. That if he had gotten off her from that horrifyingly compromising situation a second too late, she would wring his neck without reconsideration. But then, now, roughly a month later, she did not seem too eager on sending him to his deathbed. If anything, her reaction bordered on being disgusted and horrified, as if he carried an infectious disease. Her attempt to keep him from a distance was a blinding white in colour, made all obvious from the way she sat herself on the edge of the seat, from the way she dug her feet forcefully on the floor whenever the train would sharply turn.

He had known her for ten years, alright. All of her. From her favourite colour, to her feigned dislike for dresses, to the contained jealousy she had always felt towards her twin brother, and to - everything else. He knew her more than he would ever let on, perhaps even more than she knew herself. All this knowledge, however, didn't mean he understood her.

"…Before you and I separated ways, I punched you remember? Then Kira punched you too, right? I punched better than him, yes, yes?" she rambled.

For a moment, Athrun allowed himself to marvel at how much Cagalli had grown over the years they spent knowingly apart. The fire in her eyes was still ever present, although it now seemed muted, a little bit tinted with maturity. He allowed his thoughts to wander a little further, but stopped when her eyes started widening and he soon realised what they were truly discussing.

"No," he replied, when he meant to stay quiet. But surely a 'no' wasn't anything dangerous was it? Though in all honesty, this, he would never admit to her: the punches hurt like fucking hell. Not because it was her punches that gave him a broken nose, but because it was her twin brother, his alleged best_est_ friend, _good-natured Kira who couldn__'__t walk straight after a can of beer, _who turned him into a bleeding frenzy all those years ago.

"…I need to be better than Kira at something, you know."

Grown, she had. Athrun inwardly smiled, amused. Changed, not. He could still see that ugly head of inferiority, marking its power on those deep lines settling on her forehead.  
><em><br>_If the distance between them had not evolved into this kind of awkwardness, if they had been friends who had simply lost contact with each other over miles and years of absence, perhaps he would make an attempt to mock her a bit, about how aging failed to nurture her self-confidence, about how little she had changed and could still even masquerade as a fifteen year old. Soon, they would ease into a conversation so reminiscent of the old days - him, offering his usual knowing smile, and her, displaying overzealous dramatics at everything he would say. He would be Athrun and she would be Cagalli and they would exchange phone numbers and email addresses before disembarking from the train with renewed bonds.

But who was he kidding? So he replied, "Neither of them hurt."

He _is_ still Athrun just as much as she _is _still Cagalli, but neither of these retained facts meant a magical rebirth in their companionship or friendship orsomething else he still struggled to define. This newly instilled reminder had him experiencing that sinking feeling in his stomach again, coupled by the unexplained painful throbbing in his chest, which hurt more than Kira's _fucking _punches. And by the time the faintest of expression appeared on Cagalli's face - an alarming _No, don't say anything_ - Athrun wasn't so sure if a chainsaw was ran through his torso or if he fell from a mountain so high, _but goddammit_, he felt so hollow inside.

"It hurt though," he said, pausing to recollect his thoughts before saying something even more damaging. He failed. "When you left me."

Maybe he couldn't fully explain what he was feeling, but anyone with half a brain would know what Cagalli could possibly be feeling at that moment. He didn't have to understand her, or know her for ten years, to notice that she had stopped breathing and that her hands, which were still clutching the edges of her seat, had fallen limp and weak. She probably wanted nothing more than to be swallowed by the earth and die.

"…humm," she murmured, the corner of her lips arching to a half smirk or a half smile or a half assed attempt not to cry. _Goddammit, _when was the last time he fully understood her?

Slowly, Cagalli turned her face halfway, until he could only see the tip of her nose and the bump of her lips. This, Athrun expected; the next thing she did, he didn't. She laughed. "HAHAHAHA! Athrun, you could have just admitted that Kira's punches hurt! He would bask in the glory of you admitting defeat!"

His jaw hardened. This definitely was a half assed attempt not to cry, wasn't it? Yes, what else could there be?

"You shouldn't do that," he said, carefully examining any changes in her facial features at the intrusion of his voice. When all Cagalli did was to slightly face him with raised eyebrows, Athrun continued, hoping to alleviate the tension between them, "If word reaches Yzak Joule's ears, I cannot assure you the safety of your twin brother."

It somehow… worked. Overpowering was her cheeky grin when she came face to face with him again. "Well, I suppose I could risk Kira's safety for one moment in his life," she said, and shortly added with a wink, "Teach him how to man up or something."

He gave her a hearty smile, a far cry from the small ones he gave her before. This seemed to have encouraged her to talk more, laughing every now and then as she re-enacted some of Kira's most embarrassing dates with Lacus. It was comforting to see her smiling after the stunt he pulled, and yet somehow, he couldn't comprehend the continuous sinking feeling that robbed him of full complacency. As far as reality was concerned, it wouldn't take him a good 10 minutes to fall from the precipice of a roller coaster ride, wouldn't it? So how come Newton never made sense at times when he should? And when was he this bad at physics? And when - ?

_"You think you know me Athrun?" mocked Cagalli, taking shallow and quick breaths in between. _

"_I do," he said, quiet in his approach amidst the horde of objects flying his way._

_"That's what you think, dumbass!" she argued, this time, with a roasting pan hitting him square on the face._

"_I do," he repeated, ignoring the shooting pain on his forehead. _

If there was ever a time Athrun Zala truly knew Cagalli Yula Hibiki, it was during a time when she cried.

"_When you cry, the first teardrop always comes from your left eye."  
><em>

He wondered why he didn't see it before, the dried trail of tear on the left side of her face. Not even the brimming red in her conjunctiva or its growing puffiness.

"Cagalli," he began abruptly, causing the bumbling blonde to swiftly look at him. "Don't -"

"_Good evening passengers, this is your train manager speaking, we are now approaching Februarius. Februarius, our next station stop."_

Just then, Athrun could see the world spinning before him. People wearing their coats, people tiptoeing to reach their luggage on the overhead rack, standing passengers making their way to empty seats, and Cagalli, probably crying inside, who was still looking at him intently.

"Athrun?"

He extended his right arm slowly, his fingers curled halfway. He didn't quite know what she was seeing on his face at this moment, because she began to tremble, but showed no signs of moving away.

"Don't -"

"Hey Zala! It's my stop!" said the irate, ruby eyed young man across the aisle.

As the train made its infamous sharp turn towards the main line leading to Februarius' train station, the world stopped spinning, people headed towards the door and Cagalli, still probably crying inside, stood from her seat to make way for him.

"_This, is Februarius."_

"Have fun," she said, above a whisper, as his shoulders brushed against hers.

"Stay warm and safe," he said.

She nodded once, before occupying his seat and looking out the window with her face hanging downwards. The snow had created a crispy, frosty layer from the outside, which made it difficult for him to see her reflection. Shinn Asuka cocked an eyebrow at him, baffled at his actions, before urging him towards the door.

"I thought you were going back to Januarius?" asked Shinn, while they fought the stream of people getting off the train.

"I am," replied Athrun, keeping a firm look ahead. "I'm taking the next train."

From his peripheral vision, he could see Shinn look back at the train as the wheels started rolling.

"You're a dumbass."

Athrun let out an airy snort at his companion.

"Boy do I need reminding."

o

The food stared back at her, seemingly unappetising.

Within a minute of arriving at Kira and Lacus' flat, Lacus had kindly shoved a plate full of kebabs and chilli sauce with her standard sweet smile. Cagalli grew to love Lacus' culinary obsession with spicy foods, much thanks to Kira, just as much as she found Lacus' smile infectious. Tonight, however, everything looked so bleak and dull.

Athrun the jackass didn't event spare her a glance upon reaching Februarius. Sure, there was the _stay warm and safe _sentiments, but what good would that do when he, he -. And what was that _it hurt when you left me_? Good grief, she was the one left behind!

"Screw you," mumbled Cagalli.

"Language, sis," said Kira, plopping down on the seat next to her. Lacus had gone to the kitchen with her friends from the music department, leaving the lounge in a familiarly quiet state. There were times when the turntable screeched as it played a soft instrumental, which reminded her of autumn. When Cagalli felt that Kira's usual comforting nature had surged through her system, she brought her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees.

"I want to kill Athrun," she said.

"And?" prodded Kira.

"He told me it hurt when I left him."

"The relevance with your previous statement being?"

"Now, it's you I want to kill."

Kira chuckled and Cagalli shot him a glare. Annoyed, she bonked him in the head. "Listen mop head, your twin sister is confessing matters of the heart here. It wouldn't hurt to just shut up and listen and stop imposing logic that only you would understand."

There are times when Cagalli really wanted to kill Kira. Not take his life, but more like, pummel him to death until she could impart even the smallest of hurt she had felt because of him. Kira, the genius. Kira, the great. Kira, the next Jesus (blasphemy be damned). He never had to compete for anything. His love for Lacus was almost immediately requited. He probably wouldn't need to fill in a job application form, not when he was personally sought after by the largest corporations. While she, pathetic Cagalli Yula Hibiki, tumbling down faster than the speed of light, and should she surrender now, without putting up a fight - she didn't want to think of the consequences.

"I hate you Kira," she said, voice quivering.

But even so, she really couldn't _hate_ Kira and Cagalli understood this when he began ruffling her hair like always.

"Athrun cried to me, did you know?" said Kira. "Back then, he cried and said, he wasn't sorry that he used you."

Cagalli bit back her tears, feeling mixed anger and helplessness. "Why would he be? When he got what he wanted?" If this was Kira trying to defend his best_est_ friend, god help his brother, because she would surely kill him.

"Did you know why? Because if he didn't, it would take him another ten or twenty years or a lifetime, to realise he loves his best friend."

DING DONG!

Kira squeezed her hand tightly, before giving her a kiss on the forehead. "I'll just get that."

Cagalli didn't know what it was, but her heart was pounding. _Athrun loves her._ All this time. _Does he still?_

"Yo Hibiki!" screamed an obviously drunk Dearka, momentarily distracting Cagalli from her bout of teenage angst. "Can you knock next door and tell Zala to get his sorry ass in here now?"

"Next door?" asked Cagalli, incredulously. The sound of her heartbeat pounded in her ears, bile rose to her throat and whatever drama she was feeling before her outburst miraculously escaped to some place, dammit, she would look for it later.

Dearka laughed and Kira tried to keep him at bay. "Dreary me, Cagalli! All this time you've been visiting your brother, you never knew Athrun Zala lived next door?"

* * *

><p>This isn't chapter three. I was supposed to upload chapter three, but I read through chapter two again, after which, I sat for four hours and wrote this in one sitting. Hence, this chapter is all over the place. Sometimes, I am surprised at how much my brain activity fluctuates every now and then.<p>

I regret to inform everyone that I think, this is the point where Mind the Gap becomes a_ proper_ fan fiction. When before, I only think as I write along, now, I reserve a portion of my time thinking about it, writing notes, before actually writing the chapters. The advantage is, the narration will become more unified from this point onwards but, on the expense of losing that almost fleeting and airy feeling that riding a train gives.

Also, I hope it was obvious why I refer to Kira as Athrun's best_est_ friend and never settling for just 'best friend'. And the fact that Athrun lived next door to Kira will come into play in the next chapters to come.

I cannot promise when the next chapter to this or The Puppet Show will come out, but I am not dead nor are these babies.

Thank you very much for your patience. Let me just get through my dissertation and finals, and I'll be free.

Hope you enjoyed reading. Now, review and shoot me in the head and tell me the many problems with this chapter.


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